Introvert’s Survival Guide – 13 Tips For Your First Day At Work

First day anywhere is a challenge.

“First day at work” ranks at the top, right after the “first day at school” phenomenon in my book. “Office” is the lions’ den and extroverts are the kings. And usually, we introverts are the elephants trying to fit in that snug crowded room wishing we were smaller or better yet invisible. 

Let’s face it. The one on one interviews that you made for the job were a piece of cake compared to this. We have a keen understanding of the innermost depths of human beings that makes one on one conversations our forte.

But then comes the dreaded day.

You have to go to that strange place where you are surrounded by the energies of unfamiliar groups of people who already know how to deal with one another with all the unique relationship dynamics and even thinking about it is proving to be overwhelming. 

Office encounters may not be where introverts excel, we prefer to be homebodies most of the time, but it can be done and this job could be just what we need, considering we spend too much time cooped up at our homes anyway. Who knows.

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First days went pretty much the same for all my jobs; everyone is friendly (seemingly) and they introduce you to many, oh so many people. Before halfway though, I would have been dazed and confused from the flashes of people’s faces and the murmurs of their names in between that I’d completely missed. The whole day had been a flaming ball of energy.

It is the introvert’s nightmare. 

As a highly sensitive ADHD introvert, after passing a certain threshold, any stimulation is capable of evoking the greatest tension in my constitution, exciting me to the point of laughing hysterically at people’s remarks and slightest jokes. Talk about overstimulation. Goofy is fine, silly is another matter. Let’s say that I have taken my part in both the goofy and silly departments.

So what to do? Here are a few pearls of wisdom that I have accumulated over the years to manage the “first day” and feel free to copy any or all, my dear friends:

1. Sleep well the night before.

Trust me, everyone is more irritable when sleep deprived, but we highly sensitive ADHD bordering introverts have lower thresholds for stimulants and you will need every bit of that energy to survive the next day. I’m guessing it is not your first rodeo of sleeping, so do what you do to have a good night’s sleep.

2. Have a light breakfast (but not too much). A light lunch (but not too much).

Being hungry evokes our natural instincts and creates tension, being too full makes us sluggish. Be relaxed, be awake.  Especially, if you lunch with other people on your first day, try to avoid complicated, messy or greasy foods, opt for natural, easy-to-eat and easy-to-digest options. Soup with a salad or fruit bowl+ cheese and bread, etc., some small portion of grill or veggies with a side dish, you get the drift. It is not the “all you can eat buffet” day. You don’t need excitement diarrhea to put it ever so gently. Avoid too much caffeine and stay hydrated as well. 

3. Wear comfortable and familiar clothes.

It is already difficult to pay attention to all the crazy motions and emotions that are going around you when your focus is not concentrated on your weird new tie. Make sure your clothes create familiar and comfortable sensations on your physical body. Forget high heels, itchy fabrics and save that tight fitting jacket for the wedding next weekend. Being self conscious with unpredictable and uncomfortable clothes will make you feel like you are unable to fight, freeze or flight from a predator’s attack if need be, and your primal sense of safety will be jeopardized even more (in addition to being in a strange environment). Remember, we are trying to reduce stimulants that threaten your sense of safety!

4. Keep track of time.

Don’t be late for anything, it will make you upset and people may make snide remarks. It will be too much of an excitement to try and catch up later anyway so it is better to be early than late for anything that day, also week or month, I’m sure you know what I mean.

5. Start and end your day with a positive note if possible.  

Try to meet with friendly people first. Being socially accepted in your first encounters within the first meetings in the day will reduce your anxiety for the rest. Try to arrange your first meetings with pleasant and friendly people that are not threatened with your position by their job definition if at all possible. In the same manner leaving the office in a good mood will definitely make you calmer in the evening and eager to go to the office the next day.

6. Simple is gold. 

Keep the introductions with people short and simple, and parroting the words of the person across you is a great method. The power of preparing a few examples and topics beforehand for unwanted conversations is underestimated. 

Here is an extremely simplified example:

Jessica: Hello, Jessica from accounting, you are?

You: Catherine from IT. Nice to meet you, Jessica. I’m sure we’ll have great time working together. (Out)

Another one:

You: Hello, I’m Andy, I started today in the graphics department.

Others: “……Finance, Product etc”  

(Whatever, you are probably wishing you were home right now and not listening anyway, lol 🙂 )

You: Really, yeah, great. Nice to meet you, all.  See you later. (Out)

No detail, nothing complicated. Just stick to the basic pleasantries. It is crucial to keep these first encounters short, pleasant and unmemorable as much as possible. Answer with a few words and elaborate slightly if they carry on asking questions, leave it be if not. Trust me, it is better to be unmemorable in your first day unable to be defined with an adjective other than ‘nice’ than be the next theme of water cooler moments of the week. 

Here are some topics for small talk: Where you live and your transportation to work,  your past experiences, how you heard about the company, anything related to work. 

Not “weather”, please. (OK, yes “weather”, if you are desperate.) 

I know it is most difficult for the average introvert to have small talk, but it is a crucial part of working in the “lions’ den” and it is a skill that can be developed over time. 

7. Do not try to remember people’s names. 

It is futile and people will be understanding towards a person that have met many people at once and forgot their names. They need to remember one person’s name (you) and you need to remember, who knows how many. Conserve your energy for more important things. Just repeat their names when you meet them, that is all. See above examples. 

8. Keep boundaries. Keep it real. It’s OK to get out. 

Probably the introvert in you is yearning to get into the deep stuff, but please remember, these are your colleagues and 95% of them will never be more than that. In an attempt to fit in, do not pretend to be extrovertish (you know what I’m talking about). It is a great lesson for us to be proud and accepting of our personalities, plus the truth will come out in the end anyway. Furthermore, even though people seem nice, they might not really be that way in the work setting. You don’t need to tell and explain them that you are an HSP or an introvert or ADHD or whatever. It’s no one’s business. Protect yourself. When it is simply too much to bear, it’s OK to politely excuse yourself for a phone call and get out of there. 

9. Your direct contacts are another matter. 

The above were mostly valid for people you do not work directly with and just formal or informal brief encounters. You might spend more time and energy with people you directly work with and probably you’ve met some of them before this day. You may discuss details of your job and ask your questions that relate to their job definition. It is also useful and a great opportunity to clearly understand your expectations from one another in this formal setting on your first day to set the tone of your relationship with them. 

10. Take breaks. 

You need some time to unwind in between these meet-ups. Go to the restroom and freshen up. Take lunch alone if possible. If not, maybe a relaxing beverage, or a short walk outside. Being in nature would be a bonus. You may bring the photo of a loved one or pet or even a calming place with you. You may listen to music on earphones. Or meditate. Whatever works for you to get rid of unwanted energies, recharge yourself and be centered again.

11. Go with the flow. Be present.

Do not expect anything and do not ponder over what just happened and who said what. Introverts, being more aware of their surroundings, need some time to process the events and the interactions with people, but if that steals your attention from around you, save it for later in the evening when you are alone. Be present and instead of trying to block your thoughts, be the observer of them when you need. Meditation really helps develop this skill.

12. Do not expect to fit in or have friends at all on the first day. You won’t. 

It is completely fine to not fit in socially or be comfortable at work for a day, month or more! It is a different setting and believe it or not, it is OK to be an outsider for as long as you are honest within yourself! These things take time and even if you never fit in, that is OK, too. Please don’t forget that you are a complex human being with many facets and your work life is simply a portion of who you are.  Concentrate on the context of your job rather than the social environment that goes above and beyond what is required at the minimum of decent work pleasantries and platitudes. Remember, you make the rules that will give you a pleasurable and successful working environment. 

13. When you finish the day, reward yourself. 

Say your goodbyes to every person just in case you’ve met them and leave. Do something that you absolutely love. Light candles and have a bath, maybe. Watch a movie, hug your pet. You deserved it. And you may ponder away now if you like.

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These baseline rules are based on my experiences that provides what could pass the day with minimum effort and it might be different for you. Please don’t forget to have fun, even if it is slightly uncomfortable. 

Above all, it is more important to create a kind space in you for you, dear introvert. 

It is the perfect place to start and end the first day, any day.